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5 Tips for Finding a Caregiver for your Baby

12/27/2018

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boise daycares
Finding a caregiver who respects your parenting choices is key
Whether you are looking at a return to work after maternity leave, or just need a sitter for an occasional date night, leaving your baby in someone else’s care for the first time can seem like a daunting task.

Will they be safe? Will they get the same level of attention as they get from you? What if they don’t take a bottle? Will they cry? Will you cry?

Here are five things to consider when finding a caregiver for your baby:


1. Determine the type of care you need and want. You will have different expectations of an occasional babysitter than that of a full time caregiver. It may not matter that an occasional sitter has a little trouble putting your child to sleep at his usual time, because his routine isn’t greatly affected by one late nap. However, you may want a regular caregiver to follow the same routine as you do at home.

Depending on your budget, your child’s needs, and your personal preferences, you may be looking at the following types of care:
  • A postpartum doula works in your home, caring for you and your entire family. While postpartum doulas typically don’t watch your children while you work or leave the home, they do help in caring for babies and older children while you are in the home so you can sleep, shower, exercise, or take some time for self-care. They are trained in all aspects of the postpartum period, from newborn care, to breastfeeding support, to help in spotting the signs of perinatal mood disorders. They support the entire family, and typically work with a family on a short term basis.
  • A mother’s helper does not usually have formal training, and works at your direction to care for your children while you are in the home. Mother’s helpers are usually employed on a part-time basis.
  • A babysitter is similar to a mother’s helper, only a babysitter usually watches your children while you are outside the home. Some babysitters have taken child care courses and some are CPR certified. They usually care for your children on an occasional or limited basis.
  • A nanny works in your home, caring only for your children while they are there. (Some parents nanny-share, where the nanny works part-time for their family and part-time for another family).  A nanny can be an independent contractor or a household employee. A nanny should follow all of your parenting preferences. They are not licensed by the state, but may have independent training or certification in CPR and basic first aid.​
boise nannies
  • An in-home day care is typically smaller than a day care facility, and may or may not be licensed by the state. When licensed, there are regulations regarding caregiver to child ratios. There may be only one caregiver on site, or there may be multiple caregivers depending on the number and ages of children. Each in-home day care varies on their policies regarding illness, vacation closures, and their ability to accommodate your preferences for feeding, sleep schedules, and parenting style. Your child will likely be exposed to children of various ages.
  • A day care center provides full time care in a facility outside of the home. The caregiver to child ratio is highest in this setting, as they care for more children. The facility will be licensed by the state; caregivers will be screened by the daycare operator. Depending on the facility’s capacity and policies, they may or may not be able to accommodate your preferences for individual attention, feeding, and sleep schedules. Your child will likely be exposed to other children her own age, as children are usually grouped by age.​
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2. Get referrals and check references. When looking for care, ask your friends, family members, and neighbors for referrals. No matter what kind of care you are looking for, if you can get a referral from a family who has had personal experience with a caregiver, you may have more peace of mind about leaving your child with them. 

If you can’t get personal referrals, you can get referrals from local parenting groups, or you can view ratings on child care sites like care.com. You can use a child care agency; they screen their caregivers in advance, conduct background checks, and may require them to have a minimal level of experience or training.

When you find potential caregivers, ask for references from families with whom they have worked in the past. If they can’t or won’t offer references, this can be a sign that they are inexperienced or have had negative experiences you may want to avoid.



3. You make the decisions. You have the right to choose a caregiver who will respect your parenting choices, including how and when to feed your baby, how to respond to crying and other cues, how their sleep is structured (or unstructured), how often they are held, how they comforted, how they are disciplined, and more. 

Look for child care providers who will work with you to accommodate your preferences. Sometimes they may have limitations due to the number of children they care for. Know which areas are the most important to you, and find a care provider who can meet your needs in those areas.

When your care provider is a family member, your parenting choices should be respected. A family member who ignores your instructions may not be the best person to watch your child, even though they may be more emotionally attached to your baby than a professional caregiver.

​Also consider an out-of-home caregiver’s policies on dropping in to see your child. If a facility limits your ability to visit your child, or requires advance notice, this may be a red flag that they will present a different picture to you of the care your child is receiving when you are not around.
daycares in boise
4. Ease into a schedule. If you have the flexibility, consider leaving your baby for small increments of time with their caregiver, and build up to a regular schedule over a period of weeks or months. This period of transition will help both you and your baby get used to being apart.

A slower approach can also apply to occasional or part-time care. Have your sitter watch your child in your home while you are there before you leave your baby alone with them for the first time. The sitter can become familiar with your home and the baby’s routines, the baby won’t consider the sitter a stranger, and you will get a sense of how the sitter will care for your baby when you are gone.

If you are breastfeeding, easing back into work may help you maintain your breastfeeding relationship while you pump to build up a supply. It may also give a baby who is reluctant to take a bottle time to adjust to a new method of feeding.
boise postpartum doulas
5. Consider alternatives. Sometimes, the needs and priorities of your family change after your baby is born. When pregnant, you may have had a plan to return to work after six weeks but now that your baby is here, you feel you need an extended maternity leave. Or maybe you planned on hiring a nanny, but you found an in-home daycare that seems like a better fit.

Some families re-evaluate their need for a two-income household, and one parent decides to stay home to care for the baby full time. Or one parent transitions to work from home for a time, to be more available to help with child care.

​If you find yourself re-thinking your child care needs, there are many options available to parents these days. Start a discussion with your employer about what flexible options may be available to you. Examine your family budget to see if one or both parents can stay home with the baby, or work from home for a while. See if a family member is available to help out on a regular basis.

Make the choices that are right for you new family, even if those choices are different than what you thought they would be when you were pregnant!
I am a certified labor doula (birth doula) and postpartum doula serving clients in Boise, Eagle, Meridian, Nampa, and the greater Treasure Valley.
Planning for birth and postpartum can be just as stressful as choosing child care. Find out how a doula can help you as you bring your new baby into the world.
More About Doula Support
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​Copyright 2018
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5 Tips to Handle the Holidays While Pregnant

11/19/2018

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Boise doulas
Modify your plans, minimize your stress
It’s the holiday season, and that means interaction with family members you may see just a few times a year. Even if you have wonderful relationships with your extended family, if you are pregnant around the holidays, conversations can get difficult when talk turns to your plans for birth. Everyone seems to have an opinion to share about what you should or shouldn't do, or they offer a prediction of how your birth will go. 

Here are five tips to navigate the holidays while pregnant:

1. Modify your holiday plans. Modify your plans, and minimize your stress. If you usually host a family gathering, ask someone else to host this year. Plan on bringing in prepared foods instead of cooking, or make the dinner a potluck event. 

Can you limit family time this year? Use your pregnancy to your advantage. Perhaps you stay for just a few hours at your sister’s house instead of the whole day. Or take a nap while everyone else is watching football. 

If you are nearing your estimated due date, your care provider may actually warn against you traveling more than a couple of hours from your home. That means you can avoid a prolonged visit with family altogether, if that is your preference.


2. Prepare for difficult conversations. Chances are, your family members are excited about the new addition to their own extended family. But instead of only sharing in your excitement, they may also feel the need to share their opinions.

Conversation will inevitably turn to your pregnancy, and will likely consist of three topics:
  • Questions about where and how you plan on giving birth 
  • Their opinion on your answers, and
  • Negative stories about their own births or those of people they know

If you are making choices for your birth that are different from those your family members have made for themselves, be prepared for push back. You might hear things like, “Just you wait! You have no idea!” or “You’ll change your mind!”

If your choices are vastly different, you may even hear things like “You are putting your baby’s life in danger!” or “You are being selfish.”


With pregnancy hormones at play, and if you yourself are still navigating your birth options, these conversations can get heated, emotional, and very difficult.

If you anticipate these conversations in advance, you can avoid feeling blindsided. You might tell your family before the event (or have your partner tell their family) that you don’t want to have these conversations at all. Or, you may choose to be more selective or vague in your answers to probing family members.
home birth boise
Expect difficult conversations about your pregnancy
3. Practice disengaging. Sometimes these difficult conversations can’t be avoided. Maybe your relatives already know your plans for birth and they are using this holiday gathering as one more instance to voice their disapproval.

In these situations, don’t try to defend your choices, or try to convince your family members to accept them. Instead, answer their questions or comments with a neutral phrase, like, “Hmmmmm” or “Huh!”

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Or you can make them feel heard and say, “You know, that gives me something to think about.” 


Sometimes, you may feel the need to stop the conversation entirely. You can say, “Thank you for your concern. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Or redirect the conversation to another topic: “Okay. Hey, congrats on your promotion. How do you like your new job?”
pregnancy massage boise
Do whatever you can to relax during the holidays
4. Make time for self care. Taking care of yourself is always important, but especially so during the busy holiday season. Book a prenatal massage, take a long bath, make time to exercise, or plan a night out with your partner. Enjoy the time you have now that is all yours.

Whatever brings you relaxation and calm increases your oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is  the "love hormone" that plays a role in labor, attachment, bonding, and breastfeeding.  Taking deep breaths, centering your mind, and finding ways to relax amidst the tension around you is also excellent practice for managing labor. 


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5. Create your own holiday traditions.
With a baby on the way, your life will be changing in just a few short weeks or months. Whether this is your first baby, or you are adding a sibling, take the time to reassess what you and your partner want for your growing family. What traditions will you adopt? What will you let go? What is important? What’s not?

These answers look different for everyone. They may not fit into what your extended family has chosen. But when you take the time to pause and think about what you want for your own family, the stress and furor that accompanies this time of year lessens-- which makes for a better holiday season, and a better pregnancy.
I am a certified labor doula and professional postpartum doula serving clients in Boise, Eagle, Meridian, Nampa and the greater Treasure Valley.
​This holiday season, ask for doula support! Elevated Birth gift certificates are available in any denomination and can easily be added to your baby registry.

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Copyright 2018
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Embrace the Parenting Season You're In

11/1/2018

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boise doulas
These gorgeous photos are courtesy of Natalie Koziuk Photography. Clients of Elevated Birth get discounts on sessions with Natalie! 
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New Baby? Pregnant? Trying?
​What's Your Season?

back to work new baby boise
Fall is in full swing here in the Treasure Valley. The hardwood trees are showing off their splendent colors like a proud peacock, while the evergreens are happy to provide an understated contrast to their brilliance. The air is crisp in the morning, but often mild enough in the afternoon to encourage bathing in the warm light of the sun. 

This is the season for pumpkins, and jewel tones, and scarves and boots. It’s also the season of extending the time between shaving my legs a little (okay, a lot!), and sleeping in as long as possible in the mornings because it’s dark outside, and then without fail, rushing on our way to school.

The seasons are a time of transition, of moving from one state of being to another. The same is true of the seasons of our lives, especially when we have children. When we transition from not pregnant to pregnant, from pregnant to raising a newborn, through toddlerhood, teething, returning to work, deciding to stay home, our relationship without kids and then with kids—these seasons look different because they are different.

We make different choices; we approach life differently than we did last season. We are, in many ways, different people.

And despite what social media presents, or what your friends are doing, or what your critical inner voice is telling you, it’s okay to just embrace the season you are in. Here’s how:

1. Identify your season.
After I had my first child, I gave away all of my high heels. I decided I was going to quit my corporate job to stay home with him, and since my Friday nights now looked exactly the same as my Tuesday mornings— in yoga pants and flats— they were just taking up space in my closet. Purging a small section of my closet felt like a big step toward embracing my new life.

What season are you in? Are you getting out as much as possible before your baby arrives? Are you hunkered down at home with eternally sick toddlers? Are you freezing breastmilk for an upcoming return to work? Are you trying to get pregnant?

When you recognize where you are, you can then:

2. Accept both the joys and the limitations.
I miss breastfeeding. It surprises me to say it now, because my daughter never took a bottle and wanted to nurse all the time, until she was almost two years old. Dinnertime was the hardest, because she always wanted to be on my lap nursing and I could never seem to finish a hot meal.

In that season, eating my dinner without a child attached to me wasn’t possible. But being able to comfort her in a way only I could, was. In that season, my dream to pursue doula work wasn’t possible for our family. But now that my kids are older and don’t need me in that way, I’m able to help other families as they begin their early parenting journeys.


Each season has its joys and limitations, even if you aren’t always able to see them until you’re out of it. So,

It’s okay to let the dog hair accumulate on the floor because nursing a newborn takes forever, and a shower was more important than spotless floors.

It’s okay that all you did today was hold your baby. That was all you needed to do. Everything else really could wait.

It’s okay that your body looks different than it did before. It’s a different body, an amazing one, that grew and birthed a human! And in three months, one year, or three years, it will be a different body again because you will be in a different season.

boise doulas
Photo credit: Natalie Koziuk Photography
3. Say no to what doesn’t fit into this season.
When you say no to one thing, you are often saying yes to something else. And vice versa. Only you and your partner can determine what does and doesn’t fit into this season.
  • If you say no to hosting visitors, maybe you are saying yes to getting enough rest and sleep.
  • If you say yes to a messy house, maybe you are saying no to added stress and physical strain.
  • If you say no to allowing a particular person into your birth space, maybe you are saying yes to establishing healthy boundaries.
  • If you say yes to giving your baby a bottle, maybe you are saying no to neglecting your own mental or physical health.
  • If you say no to returning to work right away, maybe you are saying yes to establishing breastfeeding.
  • If you say yes to the expense of outside help, maybe you are saying yes to more time to take care of yourself.

And so on. Embracing your season means making choices that align with what you want and need from this time.


And when the next season begins to unfold, take a deep breath and open your eyes to the beauty to be found at any time. Even in the biting cold of winter there is warmth in the nuzzle of a baby's soft cheek. At any time, this amazing, exhausting, incredible world of parenting has so much to embrace.
I am a certified labor doula (birth doula) and professional postpartum doula serving Boise, Eagle, Meridian, Nampa, and the Greater Treasure Valley. What season are you in?
Do you need support for an upcoming birth, or help with your new baby?
Let's Talk!

​elevated birth
Copyright 2018
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The Boring Baby Shower Gift That is the Best Gift

8/30/2018

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Baby shower Boise
Photo by Picsea via Unsplash
Boise postpartum doula
At some point in just about every baby shower, the mother-to-be opens her gifts as the attendees ooh and aah over adorable outfits, the latest innovations in baby gear, and preciously impractical baby shoes.

There are diaper cakes, and Costco-size boxes of diapers and wipes; those who have already had babies remark that even all of those diapers will last just a few weeks.

There are generously-loaded gift cards, and practical items like nipple cream and wash cloths. Occasionally there is a present for the pregnant person as well, like a gift certificate for a pedicure or a prenatal massage.

What isn’t gifted very often, however, is what very well may be needed the most: support. Not hugs and encouragement, although these things are wonderful to give. The support I’m referring to is the in-the-trenches, middle-of-the-night, time-intensive, utilitarian, hands-on support that anyone needs when going through a major life transition.
  • Who will prepare nutritious, diet-sensitive, warm meals on a regular basis? Or who will coordinate a team of friends and family to do so?
  • Who will take a crying baby to the mother at 2:00am to be fed, then change the baby and rock him to sleep so she can sleep just 30 minutes longer? And then do it again at 4:00am?
  • Who will tidy up the house and fold the laundry, then stop to help her latch the baby onto her breast?
  • Who will show the parents how to bathe their baby? Who will answer their many questions throughout the day, about sleep, and pumping, and pacifiers? Who will listen to their worries and assure them that they are doing a great job?
  • Who will walk the dogs and scoop the cat litter?
  • Who will sit with her as she pours out her heart because the birth didn’t happen like she hoped, or because she didn’t think it would be this exhausting?
  • Who will help organize the diaper bag and who will go with her and the baby to doctor visits?
  • Who will do all of these things more than once, for more than a couple of days, for several times a week?

Often a family member or friend can do a couple of these things once or twice. Sometimes these needs can be met consistently by one person. But all too often, new parents are left on their own to figure it all out. What if they didn’t have to?

What if in addition to the dozens of outfits the baby may wear just once, each person attending the baby shower committed to bring a home-cooked meal to cover the first month after the birth? Or to go grocery shopping once a week? Or what if they each contributed toward a postpartum doula fund?

What if someone who was able to contribute a larger amount purchased a couple night’s worth of sleep in addition to the fancy new stroller?

Or what if a few friends pitched in to cover a portion of birth doula costs, so the expecting couple are able to labor and birth their baby feeling supported, emotionally safe, and confident? Perhaps then the sleepless nights and disorganized house wouldn’t feel so overwhelming?

That in-the-trenches support that is so needed, and that a doula is trained to provide, cannot be wrapped in beautiful paper. It can’t be seen, or always understood, even by the expecting couple themselves. But it can be felt, and it is always needed.

Whether it’s given by a professional like a birth or postpartum doula, or a family member or friend with the heart of a doula, the support that keeps new parents fed, rested, and feeling secure is always needed, as long as it’s given in a way that respects their autonomy and preferences. 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Many of us did not have this kind of support when we had our babies. And we survived, right? Well, some of us barely did. Some of us had a really, really, hard time.

And is surviving the standard for new parents who are nurturing and growing a tiny human being? Shouldn’t those we love who are in that position thrive in their new role instead of just survive? 

Expecting parents: Ask for the boring gift of support. Be specific in what you need. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Gift givers: Go ahead and buy the newborn tutu. But also be boring. Get in the trenches, and if you cannot, give the gift of someone who can, like a doula.

Boise baby shower
​I am a certified labor (birth) doula and professional postpartum doula serving Boise, Eagle, Meridian, Nampa, and the greater Treasure Valley.
Did you know that you can add Elevated Birth doula services to your baby registry?
​We now offer gift certificates in any denomination ($50 
minimum order).
Find Out More
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​Copyright 2018
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Visualize Your Positive Birth

8/20/2018

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Boise doulas
What will you choose to "see" in labor?
Visualize labor Boise
Visualization is a proven tool commonly used by professional athletes, corporate leaders, speakers, and marathon runners that is free, effective, and powerful. It can also be used by anyone birthing a baby, in any setting, in any position, for any type of birth. It's one form of childbirth preparation you can do just about anywhere.

Visualizing a specific action has been shown to activate nervous system responses that are similar to actually performing that action, impacting your heart rate, blood pressure, and hormones. Visualization can help you stay calm and focused in a challenging situation; it can reduce physical symptoms of stress and anxiety and promote feelings of relaxation.

Consider this tool a “mental rehearsal” for your birth. You can visualize the entire process, from imagining yourself feeling the earliest labor signs, to arriving at your birth place, to pushing out your baby and bringing her to your chest. Or, you can focus on just one thing, like your cervix opening up or your baby descending.

Whatever you choose to visualize, keep the following tips in mind:


Practice throughout your pregnancy. You won’t get the benefits of visualization from trying it out once or twice. Make the time to practice your visualization often throughout your pregnancy, so when you are actually in labor, it is familiar to you and easy to go back to when you need it.

Get creative. Some people find it helpful to imagine their actual uterus pushing baby down with each contraction, or to imagine their baby’s head pressing against their actual cervix, thin and ripe.
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​Others prefer to imagine something more abstract or metaphorical, like a flower opening, or waves crashing. Some may find an image of themselves passing through a barrier representative of “moving through” contractions, and in turn they become an active participant in their labor rather than a passive onlooker. And some choose to visualize something completely unrelated, like their favorite vacation spot, or some other peaceful location.

Personalize your visualization so that it works for you.


Break it down into steps. Whatever you choose to visualize, break it down into small steps. For instance, if imagining a flower opening, you might visualize each petal of the flower slowly unfolding until you can see the center. If imagining ocean waves, visualize the wave building far from shore, gathering momentum until it crests and then falls against the rocks; see the ocean spray, the bubbling foam, maybe even sand crabs scurrying around as the water is pulled back into the sea.

​If your visualization can be broken down so it lasts roughly 60-90 seconds— the approximate length of a labor contraction— you will find yourself with a tool you can use to manage each surge.

Write it down. Write down the steps of your visualization to help break it down, and to get a clearer picture in your mind’s eye of what you will “see.” Pay attention to detail; incorporate your other senses, imagining what you might smell or hear if you were actually at the ocean, or in a field, or even in your place of birth.
Doulas in Boise
Incorporate affirmations. Think about how you want to feel as you visualize, and tie this into any birth affirmations you may utilize in labor. You might think of your affirmation, or even speak it aloud, as you work through your visualizations.

As author and speaker Dr. Wayne Dyer says about the power of affirmations,“I use the inner mantra I am, seeing myself as already having arrived at what I’ve placed in my mind.”

During your labor, you might think or say aloud, “I am strong,” “I am open,” “I am calm,” or any number of phrases, while you are actively using your visualization.

Birth affirmations boise
You can use visualizations to distract yourself from any pain or discomfort you may experience, even outside of labor. Afraid of needles and about to have blood drawn? Consenting to a cervical check or having your membranes swept? In the OR having your baby by Cesearean? Having an IUD placed?

​Go to your visualization to distract your mind from your physical discomfort, and bring you back to a more peaceful  state.
I am a certified labor doula and professional postpartum doula serving Boise, Eagle, Meridian, Nampa, and the greater Treasure Valley.
​As a doula, I can remind my clients of their visualizations and affirmations and help them have a supportive, positive birth experience.

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​Copyright 2018
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How to Survive a Summer Pregnancy

8/10/2018

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Boise doula, pregnant in summer
Baby, it's HOT outside!
Baby, it’s HOT outside! It’s about that time of year that people are over summer, and are looking forward to sweaters and pumpkins and changing leaves. With today’s high of 108 degrees, I know I am!

This heat might feel worse to you if you are pregnant. You are carrying more weight than you normally do, your feet might be swollen, and you just can’t get comfortable at night. If you are early in your pregnancy, the heat can exacerbate the drowsiness that dominates your first trimester. 

So here are some tips to surviving this heat, my pregnant friends!

1. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! With baby pressing on your bladder, you may feel like you are always in the restroom, but that is no reason to hold off on drinking water. Staying well hydrated is important to prevent complications like low amniotic fluid, birth defects, and premature labor. Constipation, a common pregnancy woe, can worsen if you don’t stay hydrated. Eating foods with high water content, like watermelon, cucumber, lettuce, celery, radishes, bell peppers, and grapefruit can be helpful as temperatures rise. You can also avoid foods with caffeine, which acts as a diuretic and removes water from the body.

2. Enjoy the A/C. When temperatures soar, avoid strenuous exercise, which increases your body temperature and makes you sweat out water. Instead, put your feet up and enjoy the air conditioning. Before long you’ll be on your baby’s schedule, so when it's this hot outside, exercise your ability to relax!

3. Embrace the positives. If you’ve read my blog posts, you know that I’m a fan of “flipping the script.” What is a positive way of viewing a difficult or seemingly negative situation?

​Try to get on board with this positive thinking about having a baby in the summertime:
  • When you go into labor, you don’t have to worry about inclement weather. When heading to the hospital or birth center, you don’t have to wonder  about whether or not the streets have been plowed or if there is ice on the road. If you are birthing at home, you don't have to wonder if your midwife or doula will be able to get to your house.
  • By the time cold and flu season arrive, your baby will be several months old and will have some natural immunity built up. If you are breastfeeding, your baby gets the added bonus of immunity from your breastmilk.
  • By the time ski season is in full swing, you might feel ready to leave your baby for a few hours to hit the slopes.
  • When celebrating the holidays, you can have some wine at dinner, or some champagne on New Year’s Eve! 
  • When you plan your baby’s first birthday, you won't be limited to indoor venues. Although if next year is as hot as this year, it might be too hot for a party at the park . . . 

Stay cool, everyone!
Pregnant in summer Boise
Today's high in Boise
I am a certified labor (birth) doula and professional postpartum doula serving clients in Boise, Eagle, Meridian, Nampa, and the Greater Treasure Valley.
Whether you are due this summer or winter, it's not too late to hire your doula! 
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​Copyright 2018
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Childbirth Prep Done Your Way

7/23/2018

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Childbirth preparation Boise doula
Your version of childbirth prep might not look like someone else's!
“The aim of education is the knowledge, not of facts, but of values.”
William S. Burroughs
I encourage my clients to take childbirth education classes as they prepare for the birth of their baby. The more you know about the physiology of birth, and what you can expect at each stage of labor, the less fear there is surrounding it. 

Where you have your baby can also affect what what you experience— the procedures, care routines, people you will interact with, and what decisions you may have to make, can vary depending on whether you give birth at home, at a birth center, or even at different hospitals.

The amount of information you learn can be overwhelming. In the prenatal meetings with my clients, we sift through this information to find out what pertains to them specifically, based on their goals and how they want to feel during labor and birth. I help them identify what limitations may be present, and how to best work around them. I get to know my clients and their values, and what techniques, both physical and emotional, that will work best for them.

This is where childbirth preparation goes beyond childbirth education. 

Preparation for your birth is unique to you. Sometimes, it’s unconventional and maybe even a little strange. I’ll use my own experience as an example: When preparing for the birth of my daughter, I watched every episode I could find of a show on A&E called “I Survived.” The show profiled people from all walks of life who had endured horrible events, like attempted murder, natural disasters, near-death experiences, and trauma, and how they survived those experiences. Their outlook on life was usually gratitude, and a newfound strength. My mindset was that if these people could survive those horrific events, and still have a positive attitude, then I could make it through labor! 

That might not be the best form of prep for everyone, and that’s kind of the point. What preparation for birth looks like for me, will likely look totally different for you!

Here are ways others have prepared for their births:
  • Kim saw a homeopath and chiropractor throughout her pregnancy. She  turned a quote she read in a book into her mantra, “Your body was designed to do this.” She used that mantra during labor and has even used it in the years since when doing difficult, physical things.
  • Susie valued research, and knowing the variables that can occur during labor. She watched TLC’s “A Baby Story” even while trying to get pregnant, and then throughout her pregnancy, to get a sense for the many different scenarios she might encounter when giving birth. She also made sure to tour her hospital so she could see exactly where she would check in, labor, and where she would recover postpartum. She says, “Whenever I felt a kick, or Braxton-Hicks contractions, or the real thing, I could imagine myself in that hospital, doing my breathing, or sitting on the Swiss ball, and getting ready to meet my baby!  As a visual learner, that picture in my head was very important.”
  • Regina, an athlete, tapped back into the mental preparation techniques she would use when she was a professional swimmer by, “visualizing success, a smooth birth process, and birthing in a calm environment." She kept active, doing a lot of walking and squats, especially during the last month of pregnancy. She downloaded a meditation playlist to stay calm and focused during labor, and printed out motivational banners with encouraging phrases to hang in her birth space.
  • Spring valued humor and practicality in preparing for birth. She read the Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy to get the kind of information a best friend would give, in a format that was more light-hearted, and even irreverent. 

What have you used to get through a physically or emotionally challenging time? Laughter? Visualization? Music? The deep breathing you learn in yoga or meditation? Do you value knowing the hard facts?

You can tap into your own experiences, your own strengths, in labor. Use what has worked for you, or what speaks to you, to prepare in a way that is as unique as you are.
I am a certified labor (birth) doula and postpartum doula serving Boise, Eagle, Meridian, Nampa, and the greater Treasure Valley. 
How can I help you have a more positive birth experience, that is focused on
you and your unique needs?
Let's Talk!
elevated birth
​Copyright 2018
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The "Should's" of Pregnancy

5/30/2018

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Boise Doula support
In pregnancy and postpartum, you are faced with so many "should's"
I am an avid podcast listener. One of my favorites is a podcast called “Death, Sex & Money.” In one episode, host Anna Sale interviews actress Ellen Burstyn. Ellen shares that now that she is in her eighties, living alone, she has finally allowed herself “Shouldless Days,” days where she does only what she wants to do and nothing she should do. She turns away from the inner critic who faults her for not doing what she should, and instead listens to what she truly wants and needs.

I often think about Ellen Burtstyn’s "Shouldless Days" and think to myself, "Is it easier to do this when you’re in your eighties, without the responsibility of little mouths to feed and hands to hold? Is it easier to do this as a financially successful famous actress, living alone in a lofty New York apartment?"

And my answer is, "Of course!"

But that doesn’t mean that we need let the “should’s” dictate everything in life. By choosing to not act from a “should” mentality in every instance, you allow room for self-compassion, a turn to joy, and you prioritize self care.

Just stopping to question the “should” helps you to decide what to keep and what to let go. Sometimes you agree with the “should.” It aligns with your core values. You begin to edit out the unnecessary, the harmful, the confusion, and the waste that does not serve you and your family.

There are many opportunities to practice this in pregnancy and postpartum. You are faced with so many “should’s.” With a new tiny human to prepare for and care for, the stakes seem even higher on figuring out what you should do.

Should I birth in the hospital?
Should I find out my baby’s sex?
Should I get genetic testing?
Should I get an epidural?
Should my mother-in-law get to be in the room when I give birth?
Should we circumcise our son?
Should we host visitors after the baby is born?
Should I be able to keep the house clean?
Should we co-sleep?
Should I introduce a bottle?
Should I go back to work?
Should my baby be sleeping through the night by now?
Should I be back to my pre-baby weight?

To be truthful, the “should’s” never end. Whether you are expecting a baby, have a newborn, a toddler, or a teenager, there will always be someone (maybe yourself), telling you what you should do in any given situation.

Before you automatically oblige, pause. Are you also listening to the voice of self-compassion? Are you taking care of your own needs, as well those of your baby and family? Are you making room for joy? Do you need help? Do you need more information? Is there another way? What does your intuition tell you? 

Amidst leaking breasts, a non-stop nursing baby, a clingy toddler, and a pile of laundry, if you can’t swing a Shouldless Day, try a shouldless pause. A breath. A chance to let go of what doesn’t serve you. A turn to what brings you joy, even a trace.

Maybe it's advocating for yourself in labor. Maybe it's saying "no" to a visitor. Maybe it's ordering pizza that night so you can sleep a little bit longer with your baby. Maybe it's asking someone else to bring the meal. 

Question the "should's." Listen to what answers follow.
I am a certified labor doula and professional postpartum doula serving clients in Boise, Eagle, Meridian, Nampa, and the greater Treasure Valley.
​What "should's" are you facing in pregnancy? How can I help?
Let's Talk!
elevated birth
Copyright 2018
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Guest Blog Post: 5 Tips Before Your Newborn Lifestyle Session

5/3/2018

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Newborn Photography Boise
Courtesy Natalie Koziuk Photography
Picture
Today, I hand over my blog to talented Treasure Valley lifestyle photographer Natalie Koziuk. Natalie offers full-service photography, specializing in creating a fun, relaxed, low-stress photography experience with a stylish, high-end result. 
My clients receive 50% off a maternity or newborn session with Natalie ($200 value). For a short time, she is offering my clients a fantastic discounted package for maternity,  birth, and newborn photography. Contact me for details!

Check out Natalie's work at 
http://nkoziukphotography.com​. And check out the details on our collaborative Mother's Day Giveaway at the end of this post!

Boise Newborn Photographer - 5 Tips Before Your Newborn Lifestyle Session

​I get a lot of questions about newborn lifestyle photography and what to expect. Let's do a quick refresher on what lifestyle photography is and why I'm completely obsessed with it. 

Let's set the scene. You just brought home your new baby and instantly that little human starts growing (oh, so much faster than we'd like to admit)! What will you want to remember when that little human is all grown? Perhaps those tiny fingers wrapped around yours or how easy their head fit into dad's palms? Possibly the way you and dad looked at him completely in love and thankful that he's finally here? Here's the thing, life as you know it is complete now. The moments and details are what I capture and what you'll love years and years from now. 

Props, beanbags, and wraps oh my!
No need for posing and waiting hours for me to wrap, swaddle, and pose baby on a beanbag. I'll capture your family doing what it does best, being real, raw, and you. Lifestyle photography captures those authentic moments that can’t be planned or staged.

Let's talk wardrobe
Mom, start with what you feel comfortable in first. Either a dress, or something light, comfortable and casual. Light neutrals photograph beautifully, but I don't discourage darker colors mixed in. You’ll want to avoid bright colors like apple red or orange so they don't reflect onto that sweet newborn's face.

Pairing simple basics with textured overlays, such as a robe or a slouchy open sweater are always encouraged. From there you can coordinate the rest of the family.
Newborn Photography Boise Treasure Valley
Courtesy Natalie Koziuk Photography
A sleepy baby
I can't tell you how often I arrive and baby is up and ready to party.  Feeding baby right before your session gives us a good chance we’ll have a sleepy newborn right from the start. If not, no need to stress. More often than not, I'll catch those eyes closed at some point. Bottom line...Whether your baby is awake or asleep during your session, remember that those moments caught on camera happen organically.

Natural light
Keep an eye out in your house where and what time your rooms have the most light. I typically photograph in three areas-- the living room, your master, and the nursery. I ask that you send me photos of your rooms before the session if I don't come to visit you beforehand. Depending on your home, usually around 10am-2pm we get the best light. 

If you only have one room that works, that's great! I’m happily surprised with the sessions I’ve had with only one window to work with. 
Treasure Valley Newborn Photography
Courtesy Natalie Koziuk Photography
Siblings
Usually we'll start with the whole family if big brother or sister is happy and ready to go. If they're not excited yet, I’ll start with baby and we’ll add them in later. Photographers have quite a few tricks to keep things moving right along. Many times, they're so excited about their new role that they'll want to hold and kiss all over their new best friend. If they really don’t want to be involved, I still try my best to get them in the frame. Nine out of 10 times they'll change their mind. ;)
Newborn Photography Boise
Courtesy Natalie Koziuk Photography
Timing is everything 
I always advise parents to contact me in their second trimester to guarantee their session. I leave a healthy gap in my calendar open from before you're due to two weeks after you're due so we don’t miss the sweet spot. I’m in and out within an hour (sometimes 90 minutes) so you can get back to your newborn life as soon as possible. 
Are you excited yet?!  If it’s time to schedule your newborn session let's chat soon. Email me at hello@nkoziukphotography.com or call 208.794.7916 to ask questions or to check availability.
Mother's Day Giveaway
Don't Miss Out!!!
Natalie and I have teamed up to offer a Mother's Day Giveaway! One lucky winner will receive a photo session with Natalie, and a birth planning session and postpartum doula support with me. Visit Elevated Birth on Facebook or Elevated Birth on Instagram for details on how to enter. We will pick a winner on May 10, 2018 so enter now!
elevated birth
Copyright 2018
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The Baby Registry Blues

4/5/2018

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Boise birth doula
I don't want to think about a baby registry-- I just want a nap.
TRUTH: Babies don't need much when they arrive. They need to eat. They need a place to sleep. They need a few items of clothing, and of course, diapers.

ALSO TRUTH: You will still create an extensive baby registry because:
  • There are products that will make life with a new baby easier
  • Babies grow and there are other products that older babies need
  • There are things you want
  • Baby gear is expensive-- ​and other people want to buy it for you. Let them!
  • You would rather that family and friends buy the things you pick instead of the things they would pick

UNSPOKEN TRUTH: Creating a baby registry can be stressful. There are so many items to choose from. You don't know what it is you really need, and what you could live without. There are so many options within a category (strollers, breast pumps, diaper brands, etc.) and you are afraid of making the 'wrong' decision. 

Plus, where do you register? You don't want to register at too many places, because you want to make it easy for the people buying things for you. Yet there isn't one store that has everything you need. And you need to consider return policies, long distance buyers, customer service, product availability, potential discounts or coupons, etc. It's no wonder many people put off building their registries.

Here are some tips to make this experience a little easier--and even enjoyable!


1) Don't attempt to register on an empty stomach. When I was pregnant with my first child, I made the mistake of not eating lunch before I started my registry at a large retailer. I thought the process would take an hour or so; over two and a half hours later, I was ravenous and shaking from low blood sugar. At that point I probably wasn't making the best decisions either, as I scanned random baby items in an attempt to fill out my registry.

2) Enlist the help of an experienced friend. Make a date of it! Go to lunch beforehand, and have your friend help you choose your items based on the realities of your situation. For instance, when I accompanied my pregnant sister-in-law as she shopped for a stroller, I was able to steer her away from the large, bulky jogging strollers she was eyeing toward a Snap-N-Go stroller, since it was one of a handful that would fit into her compact car. I had seen friends of mine disassemble their large strollers to fit in and out of their car trunks every time they went out-- a big hassle. A smaller stroller to get her through the first year with her new baby was probably the better option.

A friend or relative who has recently had a baby may be more up to date on the newest baby 
products, as well. This Haakaa silicone breast pump​ wasn't a thing when I had my kids but it is now the rage of breastfeeding parents, as it allows you to catch overflow from one breast while baby is latched onto the other breast. 

3) Go online. Every large retailer enables you to build a baby registry online. The Amazon Baby Registry enables you to tap into the vast array of products sold on Amazon, with free shipping, easy returns, and loyalty discounts.

Smaller boutique stores offer the ability to create online registries, as well. Pi Baby, a boutique retailer in Boise, offers an online registry. The advantage to registering with a local retailer is that you can physically see and feel the products you are adding to your registry, and you can get the expertise of the sales staff in choosing those products.

One of my favorite registry sites to recommend to my pregnant clients is Babylist. With Babylist you can add items from any website, from big box retailers, to your local boutique, to the online-only store. You simply install their browser button onto your computer, or download their app onto your smartphone, and begin adding products from any website. To add Elevated Birth doula services or Postpartum Services to your Babylist registry, first go to our Gift Certificates page. Then click the "Add to Babylist" browser button, enter the dollar amount you want to add to your registry, and let your family and friends help pay for your doula support!

Or, you can create a Cash Fund to go towards doula support, a newborn photography session, pet sitting, large purchases like baby furniture, fitness classes, etc. and friends can contribute any amount toward those funds.


4) Go minimal. Babies truly don't need a lot. Perhaps you find that purchasing baby items second-hand feels better to you from an environmental standpoint, or because you know your baby will outgrow his or her use for certain items in no time.

Instead of registering for 30 newborn sized onesies, a swing, bouncy seat and Rock n' Play, and that designer set of crib linens that go unused because you end up co-sleeping, register for the basics. Create a cash fund that people can contribute to for future purchases, or things that will really help you settle into life with a new baby-- doula support, meals, housecleaning help, and anything that allows you to rest, heal, and enjoy your new baby.

Whichever route you take in building your baby registry, opt for the one that minimizes your stress level. Any product you find yourself missing or wanting, is ultimately just free two-day shipping away, anyway.


I am a certified labor doula and professional postpartum doula serving clients in Boise, Meridian, Eagle, Nampa, and the greater Treasure Valley. Let's talk about what's on your baby registry!
Schedule a Free Consultation
elevated birth
​Copyright 2018
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    Doula Raquel

    I've worked in the forest, in the lab, and in an office cubicle. My favorite and most passionate work has been alongside clients as they reach inside to find their innermost strength, and give birth to their babies. Each birth is an honor to witness.

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